Watch out, for yourself: Tips to cut down on that negative self talk

 

Historically, the teenage years are characterized by incessant bouts of moodiness and irritability, particularly when it comes to social settings and social relationships. Among adolescents, a very prominent behaviour pattern also includes self-talk, which in most basic terminology can be defined as one’s ‘inner voice.’ While the arduous research on the benefits of self-talk such as boosts in self-esteem and improvements in depression and anxiety have been proven to have exponential advantages, there is equal but often unnoticed literature on negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is known to have detrimental effects on one’s everyday well-being, making it incessantly difficult to deal with chronic pain, and having a grave impact on individual sexual confidence and body-image standards. 

As with positive self-talk, negative self-talk are psychological formations that can be reversed with correct applied techniques. It is important to remember that the first step to avoid any negative self-talk is to gain awareness of it, and to understand when your inner voice is going down a dark road. While this may take some time, if you feel like you are your own worst enemy, and the voice inside your head always tells you that “you can’t do it,” try some of the tips listed below to have more meaningful conversations with yourself: 

Focus on the present

If you find yourself getting caught up in a web of fatalism, feeling like nothing in the future could ever work out for you or being haunted by the losses of your past, try to bring your focus back to the here and now. Research finds that reframing your negative cognitions and drawing attention to the current moment can help reduce angst about the future and past, making it an effective self-talk habit. 

Ditch the black & white 

Looking at the world around us from a black and white lens yields no positive outcomes, and often adds the stress of trying to locate ourselves in a binary. Therefore, cognitive reframing that allows one to see surrounding happenings as gray can help recognize the complex structure of the social world, making it easier to navigate situations without negative thoughts. 

Squish the talk (literally): 

Creative visualization techniques such as kicking the negative thought away, or by picking it up and throwing it have long-standing effects in preventing harmful self talk. Verbal techniques such as saying ‘stop!’ everytime you encounter a negative thought, though dramatic, can lead to vast improvements in cognitive functioning. 

Sources: 

1. https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/mental-health/reframing-negative-thoughts/

2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201909/keep-your-self-talk-positive-focusing-the-here-and-now

3. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/278026499_Awareness_and_Motivation_to_Change_Negative_Self-Talk

Hot and Cold: The oscillating crisis of teenage temperament

 

As a teenager, it can feel like the world is constantly shifting beneath your feet. One moment, everything is going great and you feel like you're on top of the world. Next, you're dealing with a crisis that seems insurmountable. This constant state of flux is a normal part of adolescence, but it can be difficult to navigate. 

The teenage years are a time of tremendous growth and change, both physically and emotionally. Hormones are raging, and the brain is undergoing significant changes. This can lead to mood swings and erratic behavior, which can be confusing and frustrating for both teenagers and the adults in their lives. 

But the "oscillating crisis" of teenage temperament goes beyond just mood swings. It's a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences that can be difficult to predict or control. One moment, a teenager might be feeling confident and in control, and the next, they might be dealing with feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt.

This emotional volatility can be challenging for teenagers to manage on their own, and it can also be difficult for parents and other adults to understand. It's important for adults to remember that this type of behavior is normal for teenagers and to provide support and guidance during this difficult time.

One of the biggest challenges of the teenage years is the need to fit in and be accepted by one's peers. This can lead to a lot of pressure to conform and can cause teenagers to make decisions that they might not otherwise make. It's important for adults to remind teenagers that it's okay to be themselves and that they don't need to fit into a particular mold in order to be accepted.

Another common challenge for teenagers is the pressure to succeed. In today's world, there is a lot of emphasis on getting good grades, getting into a good college, and having a successful career. This can lead to a lot of stress and anxiety for teenagers, who may feel like they have to live up to impossible standards. It's important for adults to help teenagers find a healthy balance between their academic and personal lives and to remind them that success is not measured solely by grades or achievements.

Overall, the teenage years can be a tumultuous time, but with the right support and guidance, teenagers can learn to navigate the oscillating crisis of their emotions and emerge as confident, capable adults. It's important for adults to be patient, understanding, and supportive during this difficult time, and to remember that the teenage years are a crucial part of personal growth and development.

The clock is not ticking: How to not panic about the future

 

The transition from adolescence to adulthood is one riddled with angst and anxiety, particularly with regard to the future and all that it may bring. This uncertainty about the course that one’s life may take, stressors about important life events such as university, love, loss, and family can cause significant distress and hamper everyday functioning and well-being. As a young and evolving individual, the ability to adopt a long-term perspective may still be developing, thereby impacting skills of decision-making and leading to self-doubt when faced with crucial decisions. Coupled with the increasing pressure from educational institutions, family, and peers, can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and self-doubt in teenagers and early adults alike. Thus, a looming sense of panic is a common stress-based response and not an additional burden. 

As any adult around you may be able to tell you, absolutely no one is prepared when the floodgates of responsibility and reality are opened in adulthood. While panicking about the future is a fairly common cognitive and emotional response, there are various mechanisms that adolescents can adopt to taper anxiety-inducing responses triggered by negative anticipation of the future. Try out these simple steps to help foster a smooth journey out of your panicky teens into a not-so stressful adulthood: 

Voice your anxiety

Speaking to your peers, relatives, and parents can prove to have beneficial effects in maintaining your well-being and reducing feelings of dread about the future. You may often find that you are not alone in this journey, which can help provide a sense of comfort and also help resolve certain issues you may be facing. If you feel your anxiety about the future rising to debilitating heights, speak to a certified counselor. 

Set achievable goals

Setting small but easy to achieve targets can go a long way in helping teens gain confidence in their own abilities. Try breaking up long-term goals into more manageable and specific ones, and remember to pat yourself on the back as you go! This can help boost feelings of self-worth and make you feel like the star you are. 

Get out of your head (and out of bed)!

In the formative years of adolescence, teenagers are often overcome with negative cognitions and emotions, which can come in the way of their physical health. Healthy patterns of sleep, nutrition, and exercise are critical to overall functioning. Furthermore, a healthy body is a healthy mind, and thus physical fitness and well-being can aid teenagers in making more informed life choices. 

However, it is important to remember that what may work for one person may not work for another, therefore feel free to take things slow and experiment with different stress-reduction techniques along the way. With the right guidance, peer support, and keeping your head held high, heading towards a bright future will be smooth sailing. 

Sources: 

1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201008/adolescence-and-fear-the-future

2. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/motivation.html

3. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8808202/#:~:text=Regular%20physical%20exercise%20can%20release,the%20level%20of%20mental%20health.

They’re just different, good different: Embracing the diversity in peers

 

One of the prime aspects of the adolescent years is enhanced social interaction, particularly in educational settings such as schools and universities. According to psychological research, social development in the teenage years is characterized by an increased focus on seeking out peer relationships outside the family structure, with peers becoming a stimulus for social interaction. However, it is not fairly uncommon for young adults to seek out friendships with individuals similar to them across a spectrum of social factors, such as race, gender, ethnicity and so forth. Furthermore, individual differences and socialization contexts play a large role in determining adolescents' openness to diversity, or an acceptance and awareness of the differences and similarities between individuals. 

For students in non-diverse friend groups, social development can be significantly hindered as they may struggle to develop expansive worldviews and other perspectives, which can limit their interactions in the future years. Furthermore, interacting with a diverse set of peers can also help adolescents foster greater personal growth, and enhance life skills such as empathy, tolerance, and greater cultural awareness. Exposure to a diversified group can also aid students in gaining an in-depth understanding of problem-solving and critical thinking, as adolescents are consequently exposed to different strategies of approaching challenges and opportunities. The question then arises, how does one step out of their comfort zone to engage with diverse sets of people? Here are some tips on how to make new friends from different friend groups: 

Educate Yourself! 

The first step towards embracing diversity is learning more about different cultures and backgrounds. This can be highly beneficial in not making any assumptions or inappropriate remarks, which may start off a friendship on the wrong foot. This also helps to be respectful of diversity among your peers, and actively work towards creating a more inclusive environment. 

Listen Closely 

It is important to listen actively and engage when interacting with diverse peers, and absorb what they have to say about their backgrounds and experiences, particularly those that may be different from yours.

Push yourself 

After feeling a bit more comfortable in your interactions, try and seek out extracurricular activities that may strengthen your newfound relationships, such as participating in  different language clubs at school or working on events such as international fairs or a gender-diversity workshop. Furthermore, it is critical to educate others who may be unwilling or hesitant to seek out new sets of friends, the same way that you may have once been!

Sources: 

1. https://opa.hhs.gov/adolescent-health/adolescent-development-explained/social-development#:~:text=General%20Social%20Changes%20Adolescents%20Experience&text=As%20their%20social%20circles%20expand,who%20may%20function%20as%20mentors.

2. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10964-020-01329-4

A walk around your mind: A beginner’s guide to meditation

 

Over the course of the adolescent years, it is normal for teenagers to experience significant forms of stress that can hamper their everyday functioning and well-being. Furthermore, with the onset of the coronavirus pandemic, teenagers around the world faced significant obstacles to their socio-emotional development, especially as a result of frequent lockdowns and lack of social interaction. In today’s fast-paced world, increasing challenges such as soaring academic standards, social media presence, and increased consumption of toxic substances exacerbate the distress in overall well-being. According to recent research in the field, more than 37% of high-school students in America faced poor mental health after Covid-19. Interestingly, a solution presents itself in the form of a nearly 3000-year-old practice- meditation. 

By practising mindfulness and bringing the mind’s awareness onto a particular thought, object, or activity, meditation helps to bring the body to equilibrium and achieve a focused mental and physical state. Scientifically, studies have proven meditation to be particularly beneficial for teenagers dealing with anxiety. Given the deficiency in neural communications between the amygdala and frontal lobe of the brain in young adulthood, teenagers often end up making irrational or erratic decisions. However, regular meditation for 15 minutes for 3-weeks can greatly enhance the decision-making process in teenagers. Furthermore, practising mindfulness can also help increase the levels of life satisfaction for students transitioning to university, a critical stage that can affect students’ self-esteem and social behaviours in college. Additionally, practising meditation can also help reduce symptoms of disorders such as depression and ADHD, and can help boost immune functioning and improve levels of concentration.  

Thus, it is recommended that teenagers engage in regular meditation in order to improve their quality of life in these formative years of development. Here are some highly achievable methods to initiate your mindfulness journey: 

• Start by finding a quiet, comfortable place for you to connect with your mind. Common spaces such as a living room or garden may not be ideal. However, your bedroom can be a suitable option! 

• Remember, you cannot become a meditation guru instantly. Set a short timer for yourself (5-20 minutes), and pick a focus for your meditation. This could include your breath or an object in clear sight. 

• Once seated in a comfortable position, start by closing your eyes, breathing deeply, and clearing your mind. 

• Try focusing on your chosen target. If you feel your mind drifting away towards irrelevant thoughts, try to redirect your attention back to the object. 

• Feel your chest expand and contract, and be kind to your own body and thoughts. Once the timer goes off, recognize any thoughts, feelings, or sensations you may be experiencing and open your eyes slowly. 

• Try setting daily reminders and alarms for practising meditation for around 10-15 minutes a day. This can help make meditation a daily habit and an automatic response in stressful situations. 

Sources: 

1. https://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2022/p0331-youth-mental-health-covid-19.html

2. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07448481.2017.1278605

3. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-use-meditation-for-teen-stress-and-anxiety/#:~:text=The%20practice%20of%20mindfulness%20exercises,help%20balance%20the%20immune%20system.

4. https://www.mindful.org/how-to-meditate/

“I want that driver’s license yesterday”

 

Getting your driver's license is an exciting event that marks the beginning of a new phase in your life. It means you're ready to take on the world, and that your driving skills are up to par - that the adventure of the open road awaits you! And nothing signals the start of that journey quite like the act of taking your driving test for the first time. Of course, like with any other test, you will be nervous. But, like with any other test - confidence is key. You'll do just fine. And then what? Then comes the time to get out there, and simply drive. Why is getting a driver's license such a big event? For most people, getting a driver's license is a rite of passage into adulthood - a symbol of growing up and becoming independent. It also means being able to drive places on your own without relying on others to take you there. It's also a huge sense of accomplishment. Having a car comes with the freedom to explore the world around you and discover new places - not to mention the freedom to move in and out of locations as you please.

But an important thing to keep in mind is that, given the skill required to drive, and how it is the most commonly operated heavy machinery in the world, driving is probably the most important responsibility you'll take on as a young adult. And therein lies the other side of driving - becoming a licensed driver also helps you develop self-discipline, responsibility, and confidence. These are all great qualities that will help you in your adult life. Perhaps the most important thing one will learn from finally getting their driver's license is patience. Nothing good ever comes easy in life and driving is no exception. As a beginner driver, you will need to develop patience and an ability to learn as you go. It takes time to become a good driver and it takes even longer to become a great driver. But once you master it, there really is nothing like it!

Of course, all good things take time. Such is the case with driving too - there will be a phase where you will be nervous about your skills. However, the sooner you get out there and start practicing, the sooner your fears will subside and you will reach a point where you are comfortable with your abilities behind the wheel. Just remember, whether you're just embarking on the journey of getting your driver's license or have been driving for years, there's nothing to fear but fear itself.

The band or the team: a rite of passage through high school

The reason why high school exerts such a lasting impact on the consciousness of so many individuals is not because of its academic rigors, but because of how it provides individuals with a holistic experience that is full of fun, thrill, and vitality. As such, high school is not just about studying but about undertaking fulfilling experiences that stimulate students emotionally, mentally, and physically. 

Towards this end, schools typically offer their students a host of extracurricular opportunities, which allow them to pursue different kinds of activities and refine their talents in athletics, speech, dancing, music, or writing. As such, the rite of passage through high school becomes all the more meaningful if one has ventured to participate in these enriching opportunities to expand their creative and critical thinking skills, along with refining their analytical and problem-solving abilities. 

In fact, research has shown that students who participate in extracurricular activities also do better at academics, and achieve higher scores. This is because extracurricular activities allow one to take a break and come back with a reinvigorated approach to academics, thereby succeeding at whatever it is they want to do. Further, taking part in extra-curricular activities allows one to reduce their stress and improve their mood. 

Some of the skills that one can nurture through consistent participation in extracurricular activities include building up their communication skills, their sense of teamwork and leadership, along refining their ability to manage time through multitasking. By allowing students to work with others, extracurricular activities expose students to diverse perspectives and communication skills.

Generally, extracurricular activities take the form of either sports, subject-based groups, or social clubs based on a shared interest in a specific activity. Therefore, whether you wanna join the band, or a sports team, depends on what your specific interests are. While participating in an activity like music allows you to improve your brain-muscle coordination, in addition to stimulating your cognition, and enhancing your creativity, participating in some form of sports is instrumental in improving your skills at teamwork, and enhancing your physical fitness.

No matter what your preferred activity is, undertaking regular practice in your activity helps you become a better and more resilient individual who is able to take failure in its stride, instead of being overwhelmed by loss. The important thing of course is to be malleable enough throughout one’s high school so that one is able to participate in a variety of opportunities and gain diverse skill sets.