“To fit in, or not to fall out”

 

To be a lone wolf or a social butterfly? To be lonely or be lost in a crowd? Adolescents have a lot of struggles trying to figure out what is right for them, especially when it comes to deciding what their personality feels like. It can feel strange, oscillating from feeling extroverted and outgoing to having days where any social interaction can feel draining. Maybe one way forward is to consider both scenarios.

Many people tend to believe that being more solitary and reserved is better because it allows you to be independent and have more privacy. More importantly, it ensures that you do not give too much away about yourself, and so you never have to worry about being gossiped about or bullied. The other side of the coin is that of being gregarious, having many friends, and speaking to everyone. The pros here are obvious – you always have somewhere to be! It can feel much easier to belong, and you seldom have to worry about being lonely.

The cons of choosing a more solitary presence? For one, loneliness! It can be difficult to rationalize the feeling that you cannot trust anybody, and therefore do not feel close to anybody. More importantly, being reserved can be alienating for some people, and make it difficult to cultivate close friendships. As for being more social, there are difficulties here too! Having too many people around you can also be stressful, and make it hard to get out of commitments or find time for yourself. Additionally, opening yourself up to many people also means that you increase the chances of getting hurt if one of them talks behind your back, or if you fall out with them.

It is no secret that people need friends in their lives! Who doesn’t want to have support and unconditional love? But the larger question is – where do we find comfort in our relationships? What is the distance that suits us most? Unfortunately, there will never be a clear choice here. There is one obvious answer, however – that it’s important to be yourself no matter what.

Many of us might be afraid that if we go against the crowd and be ourselves, we might be judged as being weird, and be excluded from our social circles. However, most people who are true to themselves and act like themselves are accepted by the world and are not considered weird or different in any way. In fact, it is only those who are unapologetically themselves that end up feeling good about their lives. So no matter what distance you choose to keep with the people in your life, remember to surround yourself with people who love and accept you for who you are, and remember to accept yourself too!

Source:
https://www.teenrehab.org/resources/helping-your-teen/understanding-teenagers/

“Toys and gadgets or books and notes: decisions of adolescence”

 

 

Adolescence is a time when we begin to develop new own identities and figure out what we want in life. For some, this means experimenting with their hobbies and interests. For others, this might mean trying out new activities, from playing sports to joining a music group or even learning how to cook. During this time, one of the largest sources of internal conflict one can experience – that I have too – is what should take more of our precious free time; books and the internal urge to write about this new world we’re experiencing, or our phones and gadgets?

 

Of course, both technology and books can help us learn and develop new skills and hobbies. The benefits of reading books, for example, include improved vocabulary, writing skills and critical thinking skills. They can also serve as good sources of entertainment and are a great way to relax after a long day at work. Writing, of course, is its own reward. The ability to sit with yourself at the end of a long day, to reflect on things, to create something so valuable and personal – the feeling of it is unmatched!

 

On the other hand, the benefits of using technology include the ability to stay connected with your friends and family. In many ways, what we consume on our phones provides instant gratification – I have the world’s videos and shows at the tip of my fingertips. Moreover, using the internet, I can visit just about any corner of the world. Gadgets like video game consoles offer highly immersive stories and the feeling of accomplishment.

 

Of course, both have their drawbacks. Books can take a while to feel gratifying (worldbuilding takes patience), and it is difficult to sit down and write every single day. Technology, on the other day, can make us into tech addicts. Too much screen time can also affect your mental health by disrupting your sleep cycle and causing you to become lethargic and irritable.

 

The more I think about it, the more it becomes clear that what adolescence is really about, is striking a balance. Having grown up, we must make more careful and planned decisions around how to spend our time. And while both books and technology are attractive and offer benefits, it is important to give them both equal time. The consumption of technology must not get in the way of finding time for ourselves, or the quiet of getting lost in a book. If we make time for both, we can lead a healthy life where it is not just indulgence that rules our days, where everything is, in equal parts interesting, immersive, and rewarding.

Source:

https://bhstoday.org/1864/commentary/teens-prefer-technology-over-books/

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/343156923_Reading_During_Adolescence_Why_Adolescents_Choose_or_Do_Not_Choose_Books

Some Shoes Fit Some; Some Leave Shoe Bites: Coming to Terms with Yourself

 

Growing up can be a strange conundrum. On one hand, there is a whole new world that reveals itself to you – the great outdoors, where all kinds of freedoms can be yours. So many possibilities, so many new people. On the other, you have very little idea about what to do with any of it. More importantly, once you figure out what to do, how do you know that you’re getting it right? There are no blueprints to being a teenager – you’re the only one who can figure out what kind of person you want to become. Everything must be learned on the job, and ‘becoming yourself’ is a job that comes with no time off.

 

Is it any wonder that the biggest struggle adolescents face is that of fitting in? At a time when you are essentially half-adult, half-child, it can be difficult to know where you stand with both yourself and the people around you. This is especially true for teenagers who are struggling with mental health concerns, which can truly cement the feeling that no one understands you. So how do we stay true to who we want to be without worrying about being judged or getting it wrong?

 

Lately, I’ve begun thinking of adolescence as being in a massive shoe store. There are hundreds of pairs, in different colours and sizes, and for some unknown reason, you have been left in here – free to try them all! The only thing that makes sense is to explore. As you go through different shoes, wearing them to walk the length of the story, maybe take a run, you realize something. Some shoes fit wonderfully. Others will leave shoe bites (sometimes, nasty ones). But you’d never know which ones you like until you explore them all!

 

Like all good things, our teenage years can only be figured out through trial and error. We make mistakes, fall, and get back up. We wait a while for the shoe bites to heal, and go right back to trying on shoes. Occasionally, we get it right – we find people who accept us for our flaws, find a hobby that lifts the world off our shoulders, and have days that make us smile. These things will often come as shoes that look slightly different from what we initially expected. Their shape, size, and design will often look unfamiliar. But once we try them on, they will fit snugly, and it will all make sense. Before you know it, you will be walking out of your teenage years with bags full to the brim with enough shoes to last you a lifetime.

Source- https://paradigmtreatment.com/staying-true-to-yourself-and-the-struggle-of-fitting-in/