“To fit in, or not to fall out”

 

To be a lone wolf or a social butterfly? To be lonely or be lost in a crowd? Adolescents have a lot of struggles trying to figure out what is right for them, especially when it comes to deciding what their personality feels like. It can feel strange, oscillating from feeling extroverted and outgoing to having days where any social interaction can feel draining. Maybe one way forward is to consider both scenarios.

Many people tend to believe that being more solitary and reserved is better because it allows you to be independent and have more privacy. More importantly, it ensures that you do not give too much away about yourself, and so you never have to worry about being gossiped about or bullied. The other side of the coin is that of being gregarious, having many friends, and speaking to everyone. The pros here are obvious – you always have somewhere to be! It can feel much easier to belong, and you seldom have to worry about being lonely.

The cons of choosing a more solitary presence? For one, loneliness! It can be difficult to rationalize the feeling that you cannot trust anybody, and therefore do not feel close to anybody. More importantly, being reserved can be alienating for some people, and make it difficult to cultivate close friendships. As for being more social, there are difficulties here too! Having too many people around you can also be stressful, and make it hard to get out of commitments or find time for yourself. Additionally, opening yourself up to many people also means that you increase the chances of getting hurt if one of them talks behind your back, or if you fall out with them.

It is no secret that people need friends in their lives! Who doesn’t want to have support and unconditional love? But the larger question is – where do we find comfort in our relationships? What is the distance that suits us most? Unfortunately, there will never be a clear choice here. There is one obvious answer, however – that it’s important to be yourself no matter what.

Many of us might be afraid that if we go against the crowd and be ourselves, we might be judged as being weird, and be excluded from our social circles. However, most people who are true to themselves and act like themselves are accepted by the world and are not considered weird or different in any way. In fact, it is only those who are unapologetically themselves that end up feeling good about their lives. So no matter what distance you choose to keep with the people in your life, remember to surround yourself with people who love and accept you for who you are, and remember to accept yourself too!

Source:
https://www.teenrehab.org/resources/helping-your-teen/understanding-teenagers/